Your New Project

'NeuroVont, Inc.' has more than enough potential. You are clever foremost. There are two typos within the piece, which if you ask me I will elaborate on. I'm sure you will find them yourself however. The ending was not the ending, and I hope you know that. Something further must come. Your piece simply refuses to be simplified with the hopeful prophecy. I learned a lot about moving a story reading your prose; which I originally feared would loose itself in witty banter. It did not.
I was taking notes.
The action was stirring. But, your mulligan, or the sudden possession and extension of the "sense", was under developed. Thats why I say you can't stop. It was good, and then it pulled over and took a nap. If you spent a bit more time (I know...I know.... ) on that fiction piece you might just have something very, very, selling. You can run on your themes of human compassion giving up under fear, the tragic love, the stoicism and badland philosophy. You covered that shit with a scarlet A, and like I said, I wanted more. You can sell a lot of thoughts at this disease stand. I think you take a Sci-fi premise I had seen attempted and made it real. Other already existing pieces on this kind of subject matter lack the witticism you pulled into it.

'Place to be' has an incredibly strong beginning. Within the first two stanzas, where songs sometimes hit the hardest, you do. You put almost all your guns on that part of the ship. I thought It was very enlightening.

(didn't get to the essay...sorry friend)

-Logan

This story grabbed my by the collar and dragged me along. I had no idea it was 22 pages until I finished it, now my coffee is cold and my cigar has gone out. I need to read more and you need to write it.

JS

Katrina this & Katrina that -- everything seems marked by the black mold & depression of that beast & her sister, Rita. I am working on bits for a group art show along with 3 short piece of writing that have the same character crossing throughout. It's my way of working through recovery & actually saving myself in the process. In other words, i'm hurricane writing.